There’s the feeling of stress where it just heightens your heart rate. You feel unsafe, unsteady in your bones. I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t feel great right now.
There are these tasks that I have to do that have potential for big changes to my future. That’s scary. It should be exciting; I should want to go all out on them. But, instead, I feel like I want to avoid them.
The most important tasks are the ones that I’m putting the least effort towards.
It feels safer and more secure when I’m doing steady work. Work like my APUSH or calculus homework makes me feel safe. I know exactly what I have to do, and I’m doing it to the optimal degree.
Is this what we want as humans? To just keep our heads down and work. It feels that way.
I have to learn to embrace these uncertain moments and clutch up. Man, feeling and fear keeps me back so much. I justify not taking action to myself with “logic,” but deep down I know the true reasons.
Today, I’m going to go ask Morris for a LOR. Yes, it’s scary, but it’s what I have to do. It’s not that hard. Man. Working through my fear is a skill that I have to practice.
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